I come forth and present to you lot a graphical respresentation of yesterday, courtesy of MS Paint:

It should be said, however, that while the majority of the day was indeed quite shitty, it got much better as the hours passed. I attribute this, in part, to Lolita, my new HP laptop that I bought in a fit of rage after a climactic and venemous lunchtime argument with a friend. I tend to be quite rash when I am pissed off, it appears.

I’m justifying this new purchase by not going to Chicago next weekend, instead opting to drive west to Colorado, which (I think) is cheaper. Sarah and I have agreed not to have a plan and be completely spontaneous, which is one quality that I’ve always admired in people. While Sarah considers driving eight hours to somewhere we’re not sure of and having nowhere to stay when we finally arrive there to be “adventurous,” I would argue that it’s actually just “stupid,” owing to my practical nature, I suppose. Therefore, I will be secretly researching camping spots around the Denver area, and once we get there, I’ll direct her to a campsite that I’ve already pre-approved. When she asks me how I knew of it, I’ll claim that I’m just magical like that.

I will also be researching odd roadside attractions, as it has always been my goal to drive across the entire United States in hopes of seeing as many strange and worthless objects as possible. Surely, between here and there we would have a great chance of finding “The World’s Largest Diamond-Encrusted Spittoon,” or something equally as inane.

Oh, if only we would be so lucky.