You Can Never Be Too Rich... or Too Skinnee by Jon Rich What would you get if you mixed professional wrestling, Las Vegas showmanship, references to Star Wars and a generous portion of hard-core hip-hop? Supermercado!, the latest full length album from the six man earlobe assault unit known as the 2 Skinnee J's. They've got the smokin' grooves and the phat beats. They've opened for the likes of Coolio, A Tribe Called Quest, and George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars. A press release aptly describes their sound by saying "if Bruce Lee were reincarnated as a psychic gypsy skate punk with a yen for slammin' hip-hop and interplanetary travel, he'd be a big fan of the 2 Skinnee J's." A. Mays is a Rottweiler-breeding guitar player and Andy Action bangs the drums with his special Kung Fu Grip. Former pro wrestler Eddie Eyeball plays the bass while waiting to return to the Latino Wrestling Federation as a good guy. Motivational speaker J. Guevara sings with Special J, while "The Spice" begs his bandmates not to hate him because he's beautiful. The band has made an impact on the scene, amassing a significant fan following, and now they're looking to blow up across the country in a big way. "After being starving artists for six years, we've gotten tired of being poor," explained vocalist Special J. "If we can get everybody in the country to buy our record or request our songs on the radio, then maybe we can start to live like humans." The history of the 2 Skinnee J's is already one of myth. Their "unauthorized" record company biography says eccentric gas station mogul A.J. "Stumpy" Johnson won ownership of the band in an infamous after-hours poker game. Special J cleared things up for us. "We had a couple of EPs that Stumpy released on his own private gas station label. Then we signed with Capricorn Records. The only real difference now is that we have a record out in stores that's actually there. Other than that, we're not rock stars or anything like that. My day to day life is essentially as it was before." That's true, if your everyday life consists of dancing around in feather boas and '70s issue leisure suits while singing the merits of Hong Kong Phooey. The songs on Supermercado! are as eclectic as the 2 Skinnee J's themselves. Their song "Riot Nrrrd" is inspired by their sordid high school experiences, "The Best" is a song about how cool the 2 Skinnee J's think they are because they've sampled a hook from the soundtrack to Breakin', and "The Force" is about, well, the Force. "I think only a select few people who were kids when Star Wars first came out can truly appreciate how it totally revolutionized our world," said J. "Up until then, there was the crappy effects of Star Trek and then all of a sudden there's all this over the top stuff. That can't help but stay with you the rest of your life." You won't find anything along the lines of Public Enemy's political lyrics on Supermercado!, but then not many heavy-minded rap records can make you want to get up and stomp around like this one can. So what if the song is about the old Jedi mind trick? It kicks ass. Good luck, 2 Skinnee J's. And may the Force (or at least the funk) be with you. <====