Of the Skinnee to the Many its a J Day!!! by Queen P, Sisdels Groove For the rest of our years to come the most exceptional day of the year, August 1, will go on in history as J DAY!!! The 2 Skinnee J's made their way into Columbia to play at our lovely Elbow Room and we got the very cool job of interviewing them. As we made the trek over to Elbow from the hellish parking of 5 Points, I spotted J. Guevera about to meet us in the crosswalk of the street. I stopped him in front of rapidly moving traffic and almost got the both of us killed while introducing him to NikiJ and Dafnee. We met Special J and the illustrious leader of all these shenanigans, AJ "Stumpy" Johnson, at some little cafe that we can't recall the name of. The rest of our conversation follows... SG = Sisdels Groove SJ = Special J JG = J. Guevera AJ = Stumpy SG: How long have you guys been playing together? SJ: Ummm....about 8 days ago we started playing together. No, the bands been a band for about 7 years and Stumpy has been controlling the band for about 6 years but indirectly for longer than that. AJ: I revealed myself to them 6 years ago. SJ: Our most recent acquisition is A. Mays. JG: Our guitar player. He's crazy and he wants you to know that. He wants you to spread the word. SG: We're just curious why you guys have had more members than Menudo...you guys just keep adding people. (Nasty look in our direction from Stumpy) SJ: Just like Menudo, our old manager kept wanting to sleep with members of the band and so as we got older he wasn't attracted to us anymore. Uhh...Stumpy really has to answer that question. AJ: Its pretty much because those that have gone...they were not up to par with what I needed. I need them to play at least average every night which is about what they give on a good night. Although, if they can't do that then they're gone. (Admiring looks to Stumpy from the J's) SJ: (to Stumpy) Sometimes they go to work for you in your oil company right? AJ: Yeah, they work in the dangerous, high risk jobs that way I can keep in control of them. SG: Are you two fearful of him? JG: No! He's not evil. SJ: Everything he does he does for good. Everything is justified...its fine. JG: We behave (laughs). SJ: As long as you do what you're told to do it works out great for you. JG: You want to do what you're told to do. SJ: Honestly, all three of you should be wishing that Stumpy would tell you to do something. AJ: The things I tell you to do you would realize an immediate benefit. So, for instance, you might tell somebody to do something and then what happens is they will get hot and sweaty, and they'll get annoyed, but when I tell people to do something....they are bettered. I can make you a better person in 15 minutes. SG: Oh, will there be an infomercial soon? JG: Yeah, it will be on some cable access station. SG: Why is one of your alumni named after a cereal? (King Vitamin) SJ: Well...he's very nutritious, he tastes good in milk, and occasionally if you see him in the distance he looks like a little golden oat shaped star. SG: Who/What are the musical influences on the band? JG: Last week someone interviewed us and asked what was our least favorite question... SJ: (interjects) No, our hardest question... JG: oh, the hardest question....and that would be it... SG: Put more simply then...who do you guys listen to? JG: The thing is we all listen to a lot of different music and I don't know if any of that stuff consciously influences us. Obviously, we listen to a lot of hip hop, we listen to a lot of older hip hop, we listen to a lot of alternative like rock and punk. It really runs the whole gamut. SJ: And we're influenced by like movies and daredevils like Evil Knievel and entertainers... JG: Just like pop culture...we like pop culture in general. We're sorta influenced by it all because they're very valuable people. SG: Have you ever had one of those crazy fans stalking you? If so, what did you do? SJ: Ummm...I called Madonna actually and she said that you should shoot them as soon as you see them. JG: Actually, I had my first mobbing. I got mobbed in DC for the first time. SJ: By little girls no doubt! JG: They weren't that little. They were scary! I turned around and they just screamed and jumped on me. It was really terrifying! SG: So where would you say you have your biggest following? SJ: (with a mouth full of food) Our biggest following? Hmmm...China. Percentagewise its hard to say. A really good percentage of Chinese like us but... SG: Whats your favorite city to play in? JG: We have a lot of different ones...there are some cities that we enjoy for different...uhh...what am I trying to say here? SJ: I have no idea. JG: DC is a great place to play and New Orleans and Columbia is actually one of our good places to play and sorta different pockets. SG: Are you saying that because you're here? (in Columbia) JG: No, we got lucky. The first time we played here we played to like 12 people and the second time several hundred. SG: Was that at Elbow Room? JG: Yes, Elbow Room...like 2 years ago. Pretty much it was the staff leftover from Happy Hour and they obviously had big mouths because the next time we came back there was a lot of people there. But we can have a great show like that...we can have a great show in front of 12 people just as much as we've had great shows in front of a couple hundred or thousands of people. There is no like one city that stands out for us. We love to play New York...that city we look forward to playing. SG: If you guys could tour with anyone, who would it be? SJ: Yanni. JG: We wanna play simultaneously with him. SG: We thought John Tesh would be far better with you guys. SJ: John Tesh is good but....Yanni plays the world monuments. You know like the Mayan Temples, the pyramids in Egypt, the Taj Mahal and the Great Wall. I mean now those are some serious places to play. JG: We wanna play Easter Island with Yanni. SJ: (getting excited) Yeah! Easter Island with Yanni. Or maybe like the Golden Gate Bridge. Or maybe even the London Bridge...in Arizona. JG: Or we could play in the Grand Canyon. SJ: Even better...suspended above the Grand Canyon. Then we could try and get Evil Knievel to try and shoot over us while we're playing. JG: Did you hear that Robbie Knievel broke his dad's record? SJ: Really?? JG: So Robbie Knievel is now the world record holder for the largest number of limousines jumped by a motorcycle. (At this point the guys rambled on for some time about Robbie, Evil and the Knievel legacy. Sorry it ended up on the cutting room floor...well, actually we're doing you a favor). SG: You guys had the goal of being middle class in 98...have you achieved that yet? SJ: No JG: We're failing miserably! SJ: We've formed a non-profit organization that other bands have actually thought about joining. We've had a couple of failed campaigns...Middle Class in 96...that didn't work out for us. JG: Class of 97 was kind of a travesty. SJ: Middle class of 98...(cut off by Queen P) SG: Travesty is my word!! SJ: I don't think you own the word travesty...The 98 campaign is still open. We've not given up hope yet. Although we're still struggling. JG: I must say though that Stumpy has made several sort of off hand comments preparing us for the blow that in fact 98 may not be the year for us to be middle class. He's starting to make me lose a little bit of faith in it. AJ: I kinda don't like the fact that you guys came up with the whole Middle Class 98 thing because its kinda like unionization against me. The only way you're gonna go middle class is if I decide you're gonna go middle class. You got the band, you got some clothes on, you're riding around in that bus. JG: oh, we're happy. SG: Thats an awesome bus (its a beautiful forest green HeadStart mini school bus) AJ: Yeah, they love that bus. JG: Take a long hard look at that bus because that bus is actually on its last leg. It died in the desert about a month ago in California. It was making strange noises, and we got off, and pretty much every fluid in the bus was spilled all over the desert road. That was about 2 in the morning so we gave it some emergency surgery...enough for it to live home...but we're retiring it next week. SG: We heard you guys compared to 311 which we don't agree with, what do you think about that? SJ: The thing about comparison is that you can both compare and contrast. They're a great band... JG: We can't really understand why people would compare us to them except for the obvious..they play music and have 2 vocalists, we play music and have 2 vocalists, we're on the same label. We've met them a few times. They're friendly with us. SJ: They're very nice. JG: I think we'd like to talk about the bands that we're not friendly with... SG: Yeah! Lets talk about that! JG: OK. First of all we'd like to talk about the band Sprung Monkey. They have that song (singing)..'the trouble you could get into'...its on the radio a lot. I just want you to know those guys are the biggest bunch of no-talent posers you've ever met in your life. We just spent a month on the road with them and let me tell you something...we had this 4 band cage match with them, the Urge, a band called Cottonmouth Kings and we pretty much kicked ass. Lets talk about the Cottonmouth Kings. SG: Special J looks like he wants no part of this. JG: Lets talk about the Cottonmouth Kings and how the next time we see them...we've got this little East coast/West coast rivalry. SJ: He's not trying to say they're bad musicians...they make great music...but we kicked their asses. JG: Oh yeah! SJ: Its like a pyhsical thing. Its like a battle of wills. JG: We just pretty much wiped out Sprung Monkey also. SG: Physically or musically? JG: On every level...we intimidate them. If you ever meet Sprung Monkey ask them and they'll tell you. Just say the best band is from Brooklyn. They will tremble...they will melt in fear. Cottonmouth Kings might get a little uppity.. SJ: They might actually try to beat you up if you say that. SG: What is the stupidest rock thing you've ever seen or done? SJ: In New York City I saw somebody break a bottle over somebody's head and then proceed to cut other people up spraying blood all over the place...and A. Mays...he got punched in the back of the head for giving a woman a barrette. Over 15 cents of plastic. JG: Andy Action, our drummer, got his nose broken by someone who was recoiling to punch a girl. SG: Lovely fans you all attract. JG: Our fans are great. Our fans are the best people in the world. SG: So who is the most obnoxious of you while you are out on the road? SJ: I'm not gonna answer that question. We're not gonna tell you that... suffice it to say that if you've ever lived with like a large family in a small house that some people are more courteous than others and just leave it at that. SG: Well, you two could talk about each other because you're both here. JG: Or we could talk about Sprung Monkey. We want it in print that 2 Skinnee J's kick Sprung Monkey's ass. Come on Joel back me up here... AJ: What they're not telling you here is that if it were just the bands... their band vs. the other bands... the other bands would have just wiped them out. But because I was on stage and I'm like the Big Brother... I stood back and gotta give that little extra uuummmph. Its the Stumpy edge that made them win it. SG: I think you all should thank Stumpy right now. SJ: Thank you... JG: Thank you... SG: What inspires your lyrics? How long does it take you to write a song if you just sat there and whipped it out? JG: Some songs we can just shit out just like that... SJ: It depends...sometimes its really, really easy and then sometimes... JG: Its probably not a good idea to say we shit our songs out. SJ: Well, you know if you imagine it having words on it...(laughs)...well, its like anything you do. Sometimes 3/4 is easy and then the last 1/4 you spend twice as much time as the first 3/4. I will say this though...J. Guevera does write twice or 4 times as fast as myself. JG: Unless we're on a typewriter cause he's a much better typist. SG: What do you when you're not playing or traveling? JG: I don't know anymore. We've been on the road since the end of January so I don't know what I do anymore when I'm not playing. I'll find out next week when I go home for the first time. SG: What did you do before you were in the band? SJ: I did work for a small civil rights organization. JG: He was working at a civil rights company where his own civil rights were completely disregarded. He worked for probably one of the only fascist run civil rights organizations in America but we can't mention them in print either. SG: The song Riot Nrrrd!! is that about you all? Did you consider yourselves nerds in high school? JG: I didn't consider myself a nerd in the Revenge of the Nerds type way but I'm probably being extra nice to myself. But we definitely, everyone in the band was outside the mainstream in high school. I never actually was beaten up in high school or anything but was definitely one of the more peripheral social groups. SG: So what if you see these people now from high school? JG: To be honest I don't think a lot of people from my high school would even realize if they found out I was doing this. I wasn't really victimized...just not really part of the whole thing. I didn't go to my senior prom. I didn't go to my graduation ceremony. I won an award and didn't go to my own graduation ceremony. They were calling my name and I wasn't even there. A friend of mine told me about it afterwards. Thats why I tried the band. I figured if I missed the prom I would celebrate it every night. I rent a limo, put on a bad tux, bring a girl that usually ends up making out with our keyboard player. Just trying to live the prom experience over and over again like Groundhog Day. SG: Looks like we are out of questions. SJ: Thats because we waxed poetic... There just aren't enough words too describe how incredibly cool these guys are. Not just on a musical level, but on a hanging out with friends kind of level. Please buy Supermercado or any other J's music... we insist. <====