This is AJ Stumpy Johnson saying hello to all the fans out there! I would also like to welcome those of you who are fans of the actual band... Before I get to the "meat" (beef is the official meat of the 2 SJ's) of this edition of the 2SJ Newsletter, I feel obliged to address a concern that I was recently made aware of regarding the spelling of the band's name so as to dispell any misconceptions any of you may have. While attending a hastily arranged news conference to announce my being awarded a 24th consecutive "AJ Stumpy Johnson Man of the Year Award," Wolf Blitzer and I got to talking about the band and he pointed out that the apostrophe between the "J" and the "s" in J's was, technically speaking, gramatically incorrect. He contended that the apostrophe was reserved for demonstrating possession. What he would have realized (had he done his homework) was that that rule was in effect until 1988 when I created a new, but still widely ignored, addition to the rule allowing the use of apostophes in cases of Hard Hitting Action Words. Imagine how stupid he must have felt when he found out that not only did such a rule exist, but that I had won my 11th consectuive "AJ Stumpy Johnson Man of the Year Award" for inventing that rule. And, as any rudimentary examination will show, "J's" is clearly a Hard Hitting Action Word and as such requires the use of an apostrophe... Ok, I am done with my lecture on my contributions to the American language. Now on to the aforementioned "meat", aka the 2 Skinnee J's upcoming tour schedule!!!! Yes, we are almost as excited as you are about the fact that we are doing this stretch of shows after a year of relative inactivity. For those of you who actually care, here it is: 10/19: The Norva Theater, Norfolk, VA 10/25: The Attic, Greenville, NC 10/26: The Canal Club, Richmond, VA 10/27: WVU Coliseum, Morgantown, WV (With Outkast!!!!!!) 10/28: University Hall at UVa, Charlottesville, VA (w/Outkast AGAIN!) 10/29: Elbow Room, Columbia, SC 10/30: Marrz Theater, Wilmington, NC 10/31: Ziggy's, Winston-Salem, NC 11/1: Lincoln Theater, Raleigh, NC 11/2: Duke U. Clocktower Quad, Durham, NC 11/3: The Masquerade, Atlanta, GA So there you have it. With any luck we will be seeing you in the near future, but if not just keep checking our tour schedule at our website, www.2sj.com, and catch us at a city near you. There is no attachment with this newsletter, you didn't miss it. <---- back