Welcome to the latest 2 Skinnee J's Newsletter. As you read this, we are in the midst of the first few shows on the second leg of our whirlwind Spring '02 Tour. So far everything has gone great and we look forward to seeing you all on the road... Until then, enjoy... Contents 1. Stumpy's Monthly Statement 2. Tour Dates -- 2SJ returns to Louisiana and the Midwest! 3. "Grown Up" Video Online 4. "Grown Up" Radio Update 5. Street Team News 6. Merch Info From the Mind of A.J. "Stumpy" Johnson As many of you probably don't know, tax time is an especially difficult one for me. My love of cash, combined with my irrational fear of people in clerical professions, have combined to make this a veritable nightmare for me year after year. Add to that the perennial money drain from my vast gas station/acting school empire the 2 Skinnee J's represent and you can see I have a serious problem. It has gotten so bad this year that I have been forced to "think outside the box" (or outside the octagon, in my case, as I am afflicted with the rare inability to think outside of anything besides 2-dimensional polygons with more than 4 sides) and have come up with an idea that I believe could help make up for my losses -- I will become a sports agent. The timing is perfect because after this weekend's NFL draft there will be a run on free agents and I happen to have a pool of potential players right here on tour. Towards this end I have been forced to assess the athletic potential of the guys in the band, the results of which I have placed into easily digestible USA Today style "thumbnail sketches": Special J Positives: Has great intelligence and understanding of the game. Is not so much fast as quick, but his ability to run away from people trying to kick his ass after mouthing off during performances shows he can stretch a defense. Provides a very small target for glowsticks and glass bottles. Negatives: Has a slight build and his durability is a concern. Is a smartass that thinks he knows better than I do and doesn't appear to be very coachable, but that's nothing getting his clock cleaned a couple times can't fix. J Guevara Positives: Possesses average hands but sometimes makes the spectacular catch, especially when it appears the ball might hit him in the face. Negatives: Has a tendency to sweat profusely, causing his vision to become obscured, his hands to become slippery and his uniform laundering costs to skyrocket. Afro may not fit into normal helmet. Eddie Eyeball Positives: Makes the all the tough catches look easy. Negatives: Unfortunately, he also makes all the easy catches look impossible. Often caught napping on the field. Literally. Has been known to instigate conflict in the locker room for his own perverse pleasure. Lance "Lance" Corporal Positives:Winner of the 2000 Bi-Millennial 2 Skinnee J's Amateur Football League MVP award. A shit talker on par with Special J, but without the wonton disrespect for my authority -- will get into the heads of the opponent. Negatives: May cause disenchantment among male fans whose girlfriends rave about his "Flowing hair, cute smile and really, really, really pretty eyes." Stevie Spice Positives: Looks absolutely great doing everything on the football field, earning himself the nickname "Poetry In Motion". Looks great in a football uniform. Negatives: Can't throw. Can't catch. Can't tackle. Makes alot of fart jokes. Makes alot of farts. Mikey "The B" Boyko Positives: Perhaps the most athletically gifted member of the band, can throw a pass 50 yards on a frozen rope. Uses a collection of weird colored rocks to give him "The Power of the Pyramid", which enables him to hover in the air to make the clutch interception or the key catch. Can communicate with whales and dolphins. Negatives: Often gets caught communing with butterflies rather than focusing on the game. Is a recovering incense addict with a disturbing affinity for new age music. Volumizer 2002 Tour Dates 2SJ Returns to Louisiana and the Midwest!!! Look out - the 2SJ Express is breaking out of the East Coast and making its way to Louisiana (Lance's home state) and the Midwest for a month of shows! In addition to heading back to some familiar places, we'll also be playing for the first time in Madison WI, Grand Rapids and Mt. Clemens, MI (to recruit new members for the People's Movement of Rock). Check below for show dates. We'll be bringing back some classic Skinnee moments so be sure not to miss these ones..... Fri. 4/19: Atlanta, GA - Earthlink Live Sat. 4/20: Asheville, NC - Lawn Party @ UNC Asheville Sun. 4/21: Augusta, GA - Imperial Theater Tues. 4/23: Pelham, AL - XFest Wed. 4/24: Tallahassee, FL - Floyd's Music Store Fri. 4/26: Baton Rouge, LA - Varsity Sat. 4/27: New Orleans - Howlin' Wolf (early show!!) Sun. 4/28: Fayetteville, AR - George's Majestic Mon. 4/29: Little Rock, AR - Juanita's Tues. 4/30: Lawrence, KS - Granada Theater Wed. 5/1: Omaha, NE - Ranch Bowl Thurs. 5/2: Madison, WI - Luther Blues Fri. 5/3: College Park, MD - Univ. MD Sat. 5/4: Chicago, IL - Q101 Radio Fest Sun. 5/5: St. Louis - PointFest Tues. 5/7: Grand Rapids, MI - Intersection Wed. 5/8: Mt. Clemens, MI - Emerald Theater Thurs. 5/9: Toronto, ON - Lee's Palace Fri. 5/10: Buffalo, NY - Continental Sat. 5/11: Rochester, NY - Univ. of Rochester w/ Jurassic 5 "Grown Up" Video Online The video for "Grown Up" has been submitted to MTV for their consideration, but you can 'consider' it right now by visiting the following link: http://launch.yahoo.com/artist/default.asp?artistID=1033417 Radio Update "Grown Up" Added to Washington's DC101 and The Buzz in Kansas City Since our last newsletter, "Grown Up" has been added to the playlist of 6 more stations. Wow! Now our Kansas City, Wash DC, Minneapolis MN, Augusta GA, Memphis and Chattanooga TN fans can hear our song on the radio. Keep helping us out by calling your local radio stations at the following request line numbers: DC101/Washington DC: 800-331-2101 or www.dc101.com The Buzz/Kansas City, MO: 816-576-7965 or www.965thebuzz.com WGVX/Minneapolis: (651) 989-9105 95 Rock/Augusta, GA: 800-343-4569 or www.95rock.com WHRL/Albany: (518) 218-1031 WMRQ/Hartford: (860) 666-4444 WJSE/Atlantic City: (609) 927-1027 WRRV/Newburgh: (845) 451-9778 WEEO/Hagerstown: (717) 709-0800 WRAX/Birmingham: (205) 741-1077 WARQ/Columbia: (803) 776-1013 WWVV/Savannah: (800) 343-4569 WXSR/Tallahassee: (850) 386-3101 KXNA/Fayetteville: (501) 582-1049 KQRX/Boise: (915) 520-9500 KPNT/St. Louis: (314) 969-3833 KMBY/Monterey: (877) 657-1343 Q101/Chicago: (312) 591-8300 or at Q101.com email: sludge@q101.com The Zone/Phoenix (602) 260-1015 KZone.com The Wave/Charleston (843)853-WAVE 96wave.com Z101/Roanoke (540) 344-1101 THE RIVER/Omaha (712) 328-6970 95x/Odessa (915)563-9500 95X.NET KPKX 95.7/Bozeman (406) 586-5858 101 ROCKS/Richmond (804) 345-9101 XL102/Richmond (804)345-WRXL 105.7 THE PEAK/Spokane (509)241-1057 1057THEPEAK.COM X104.5/Baton Rouge X1045.COM KLSU 91.1/Baton Rouge (225) 388-5578 WKLQ 94.5/Grand Rapids (616)774 9450 WGRD 97.9/Grand Rapids (616) 770-9473 WGRD.COM 99X/Greenville, NC (252) 636-WXNR WXNR.COM 99X/Ft. Meyers (941) 275-4999 99XWJBX.COM KPOI 97.5/Honolulu (808) 599-5764 The Lick 106.3/Little Rock (501)433-1063 LICK1063.COM 102.3 Extreme/Ft. Wayne (219) 747-7711 EXTREME1023.COM The Planet 96.5/Lafayette (337) 332-3747 PLANET965.COM THE ZONE 94.1/Rochester THEZONE941.COM Planet Radio 93.3/Jacksonville (904) 448-0933 PLANETRADIO933.COM WJJO 94.1/Madison (608) 321-0941 WMAD 92.1/Madison (608) 261-0921 96X/Norfolk/Virginia Beach 757-622-9696 96WROX.COM We Need Help!!!! For those of you in the Atlanta, Denver,New Orleans, New York City, Los Angeles and Boston areas, please help get our stuff on the radio!!! Crooks in these cities have taken Stumpy's payola and stiffed him. Unfortunately, his enforcer goons are tied up in the situation in the Middle East, so he's relying on your goodwill (assisted by his mind-control techniques). Here are the numbers. Thanks for your help, and remember, be polite when calling! Atlanta, GA 99X 404-741-0997 99X.COM Boston, MA WBCN 617-536-8000 WBCN.COM Boston, MA WFNX 761-595-1017 WFNX.COM Denver, CO KTCL 303-631-2933 Denver, CO 96.5 The Peak 303-892-0965 THEPEAK.COM New Orleans, LA KKND 504-260-1067 KKND.COM New York, NY KRock 888-923-5762 WXRD923@AOL.COM Los Angeles, CA KROQ 800-520-1067 KROQ.COM Washington DC WHFS 1-800-321-WHFS WHFS.COM Street Team News We'd like to thank all the members of the 2SJ Street Team who have been doing work with us during this tour. It means a lot to us that people care so much about what we do that they work to help make the shows great. In this case, special recognition goes out to the Atlanta Team, particularly James and Daniel who've been working like possessed squirrels (or something like that) to spread the word. We've been meeting Street Teamers at the cities we've played already, and we look forward to meeting more as we work our way to the Midwest... And for those of you who want to join our little family, email Street2SJ@aol.com for more information. Merchandise!!! Buy "Volumizer", "Supermercado" or our "Live Bootleg" as well as posters and t-shirts directly from Mr. A.J. "Stumpy" Johnson at any of our upcoming shows. Also, look for the new stylish "I Love 2SJ" t's and colorful retro "Cali Sunset" t's online and at shows. Have you Found Stumpy?? That's right. That loveable genius curmudgeon is hidden somewhere in the album packaging. Have you seen him yet?? This letter's attachment is the cover of the Japanese release of Volumizer, coincidentally released by 2 Skinnee J's. If you are not receiving the attachment, or choose not to download it, you may view it online @ http://members.aol.com/famousrt www.2SJ.com Check us out on the web. Updated yearly since 1996. Also, give us feedback at skinneej@aol.com if you have any suggestions/complaints about the website. Contact me (this month's title - Grand Poobah of the Skinnee Forces) anytime at FamousRT@aol.com. 2 Skinnee J's debut album, Supermercado, available nationwide at stores near you, along with mega-release as of last month, VOLUMIZER. Remember, you are All Champions! <---- back