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From the Desk of A.J. "Stumpy" Johnson
Hello, 2SJ fans, and welcome to the latest edition of the most important part of any newsletter anywhere, ever. Before we get started I would like you all to join me in wishing our bassist, Eddie Eyeball, a Happy Argentinean Flag Day today. Ok, now that I got that out of the way we can move on to the "main event", or the "meat and potatoes" if you will. Granted, it's a lot more like the undercard at an Aikido tournament for 5-8 yr. olds or a dandelion salad with low-cal dressing, but you get my drift... So I'm at this party a couple weekends ago in Hoboken, NJ at the request of Special "Spesh" J, who goes on and on about this guy he just met on one of our recent flights to Chicago. I felt some fatherly concern for Special (plus a strong need to protect my investment) because he was virtually incoherent when describing this guy -- all I could pick up was something about "parachute tester" and "14 Vodka Tonics" -- so I figured I would check him out myself. Well when we get to the party, which was in a pretty nice one bedroom condo with rooftop view of Manhattan, this guy opens the door wearing the FAKEST looking gold medallion that says "No. 1" and starts talking about himself in the 3rd person, calling himself "Jonny Big Wheel". Now everyone knows I hate people that refer to themselves in the 3rd person using self-glorifying nicknames they made up for themselves, so this guy was on thin ice from the start. After cracking open a cold one I proceeded to grill this "Big Wheel" about the 14 Vodka Tonics on the plane Special had told me about, determined to take this guy on a journey of self-awareness that would inevitably end in a rehab center in Arizona. Unfortunately he was way too trashed to understand what I was saying, and instead started rambling about his past career as a parachute tester and his most recent forays into the world of... re-enactment acting?? He had played Joey Buttafuoco on "The Joey Buttafuoco Story" AND on the "Tale of the Long Island Lolita" and was gearing up for a role as OJ Simpson in "The Story of OJ and Nicole". Now all of you know about my completely legitimate business interests in the gas station industry, but only about 13/21 of you know about my chain of acting schools in the Southwest, the AJ Stumpy Johnson Schools of Acting, to be more precise. I specialize in teaching dramatic acting for people interested in roles as generals or advisors to the President during times of crisis (you have no doubt seen some of my graduates in this Summer's blockbuster "The Sum Of All Fears"). So, when "Jonny Big Wheel" started yapping about this re-enactment acting I was intrigued... imagine how easy it would be to teach a style of acting where you don't even have to talk, not to mention the commissions I would gain from the vast pool of completely talentless actors I could dupe -- uh, I mean sign. Anyway, to make a long story short, I am officially announcing the opening of The AJ Stumpy Johnson School of Reenactment Acting in Hoboken, NJ with Jonny Big Wheel as the primary, and sole, Professor Emeritus on staff. Enrollment begins immediately and classes start as soon as Jonny Big Wheel comes back from rehab, around August 31st. 2SJ Hitting Colorado, St. Louis and Alabama On August Tour!!!! We'll be heading out again for a month or so of shows, including a week with 311. We'll be going out to Colorado and St. Louis for the first time in two years and also hitting hitting Birmingham, AL for our first club date there in almost 5 years. There may be some additions so check the website and stay tuned for further details!! July 7/30 Tues -- House of Blues, Myrtle Beach, NC with Cinch/Epidemic 7/31 Wed -- Ziggy's By The Sea, Atlantic Beach, NC August 8/1 Thurs -- Ziggy's, Winston-Salem, NC
8/4 Sun -- The Pit, Kill Devil Hills, NC 21+ (no exceptions) 8/5 Mon -- The Windjammer, Isle of Palms, SC 8/6 Tues -- Monkey Bizniz, Hilton Head, SC 8/7 Wed - Senate Park, Columbia, SC 8/8 Thurs - Magnolia Street Pub, Spartanburg, SC 8/9 Fri - Five Points Music Hall, Birmingham, AL 8/10 Sat - TBA 8/11 Sun - Mississippi Nights, St. Louis, MO 8/12 Mon 8/13 Tues 8/14 Wed The Boulder Theater, Boulder, CO (Opening for 311) 8/15 Thurs 8/16 Fri City Market, Kansas City, MO (with 311) 8/17 Sat - Madison Theater, Peoria, IL (with 311) 8/18 Sun - Promo West Pavillion, Columbus, OH (with 311) New 2SJ Fan Websites!!!
Check http://www.earthboy.net for info and a new bulletin board checked by the band. Check http://jroute.hypermart.net for info, exclusive pics and links to footage of live performances. We'd also like to thank Mat Schulman for his pics of us from the DC101 Chili Cookoff. Check them out at http://fotos.olympus-mons.com/2skinneejs Help Us Choose the Next Single
This week's attachment is a shot of the Great Mikey, 2SJ beatmaster. These pictures are rare, they are vintage, and for each one printed a personal thumbs up will be granted. If you do not wish to download, or do not receive the attachment, you may view it on the web at http://members.aol.com/famousrt/mikey.html www.2sj.com
Contact me anytime at FamousRT@aol.com. 2 Skinnee J's debut album, Supermercado, and newly released VOLUMIZER available nationwide in stores near you. For more information, visit http://www.2sj.com Remember, you are All Champions! |